In the eighth episode of the podcast, I talk about sexism and why reverse sexism doesn’t exist; about abortions, sex education, and whether men need feminism explained to them.
If you think about it carefully, sexism and misogyny — which I talked about a lot in previous episodes — are very similar concepts. So what’s the difference between them?
Misogyny is hatred or prejudice specifically against women.
Sexism is hatred or prejudice toward people based on their gender.
In the binary structure of the world, divided into men and women, the privileged group — men — holds prejudice against the oppressed group — women.
Thus, misogyny and sexism are synonymous concepts that describe a set of biases and a certain attitude — only in the case of misogyny, it’s specified that it’s directed specifically against women.
The actions that result from this attitude are called discrimination.
However, in various sources, sexism is described not only as an attitude or set of biases, but also as an act — discrimination itself.
I’ve come to the following definitions: misogyny is hatred toward women — that is, a biased attitude (not an action). What happens as a result of misogyny is discrimination and sexism — that is, actions. For me, the terms discrimination and sexism are synonymous in this context.
The difference between them is that discrimination can be based on various factors and affect both men and women — for example, skin color, disability, marital status, appearance, and many others. Sexism, however, is discrimination specifically against women. So sexism is a form of discrimination, a subcategory focused on women.
So, in my understanding, misogyny is an attitude, while sexism is an action that stems from that attitude.
I also define sexism as the systemic discrimination of one class by another. That is, the dominant class — men — oppresses the marginalized class — women.
That’s why, in my worldview, reverse sexism doesn’t exist. Because cases of discrimination against men are not systemic — they do not relegate all men to an oppressed class. These are isolated instances of discrimination, which can certainly occur against men for various reasons, as I’ve already mentioned.
So, when feminists say that reverse sexism doesn’t exist, they are not denying that men experience discrimination! They’re saying that it’s not systemic discrimination, and therefore it cannot be called sexism. But it absolutely does have its own name — discrimination. And yes, of course, men can be hurt too — meaning, they can also be discriminated against.
I don’t consider abortion to be murder, which is why I say termination of the fetus, not killing a child. However, when it comes to selective abortions, this means the deliberate termination of female embryos to prevent the birth of girls specifically. And this happens as a result of misogyny — the belief that boys should be born, not girls. This is not about a woman’s free choice to continue a pregnancy or not based on her individual circumstances.
Sex education reduces the number of teenage pregnancies — this has long been confirmed by statistics. But in traditional patriarchal societies, instead of proper sex education, they offer other types of “lessons”.
Meanwhile, in other countries, steps are being taken to reduce the number of teenage pregnancies, and the most effective approach has turned out to be the Dutch model of sex education. The Netherlands has the lowest rate of teenage pregnancies, and on average, the age at which people start having sex is higher.
Here is a link to the Dutch Centre for Sexual and Reproductive Health: https://www.zanzu.nl/
You might find it helpful to look for answers to certain questions yourself or to discuss some topics with your children — the ones you hesitate to raise because you were raised in a patriarchal country.
I personally believe that we don’t need to explain anything about feminism to men. Let me say right away: other feminists may think differently and work with male audiences.
So, feminism is about women’s rights. Where in this sentence do you hear the word “men”? Why should we — or why would it even be a good idea — to explain anything to men about our rights as women? What does it matter what men think about something that doesn’t concern them? We’re talking about women’s rights — so what do men and their opinions have to do with it?
There’s a saying: “Nothing about us without us”. It means that laws affecting a specific group of people must be made with input from that very group. In other words, the interests of each group should be promoted by people who actually belong to that group and share the same needs.
A man cannot truly understand or feel what’s wrong with the status of women, because he simply never faces those problems or restrictions. So why explain it to him? For what purpose? No matter how much you explain, he’ll keep repeating that it’s all wrong, that you’re imagining things, that we live in a matriarchy already, and that you’re fighting the wrong fight, in the wrong place, and in the wrong way. All in one sentence, you’ll get both gaslighting (“you’re imagining things, darling”) and mansplaining (“let me explain how you should fight for your rights”).
My personal opinion — don’t waste your energy explaining things to men. You don’t need them to understand, agree, or give you permission. You don’t need to consider their opinion on matters that don’t concern them. No, this is not misandry — this is about setting boundaries and defending your own interests.
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