{"id":11107,"date":"2025-05-13T20:46:36","date_gmt":"2025-05-13T17:46:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/?p=11107"},"modified":"2025-09-20T20:41:59","modified_gmt":"2025-09-20T17:41:59","slug":"but-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/im-not-a-feminist\/but-9\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cShe can rent out her mouth\u201d: Why women prefer to stay silent about&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"podcastplayer\"><figure class=\"wp-block-audio podcastplayer\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/anchor.fm\/s\/1000c70c8\/podcast\/play\/102604047\/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2025-4-13%2F400176718-44100-2-5eaf207d1afcd.m4a\" preload=\"none\"><\/audio><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"mks_dropcap_letter\" style=\"font-size: 72px; color: #dd3c7a; \">I<\/span>n the ninth episode of the podcast, I talk about harassment, its less obvious forms, and share recommendations for films and TV series that touch on this topic.<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Harassment is any unwelcome behavior directed at a person that violates their privacy, causes discomfort, or harm. Harassment includes both direct and indirect actions: it can be touching, physical assault, insults or threats, mockery, hostile remarks, intimidation, stalking, unwanted letters or calls, showing offensive photos or any content the person does not want to see, or spreading false information about someone. Sending unsolicited dick pics is also considered harassment. In England and Wales, criminal liability for sending dick pics has been in effect since January 2024. And in late April 2025, Austria introduced criminal liability for sending dick pics via all possible means of communication \u2014 even by fax.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Catcalling (comments shouted at women passing by, tongue-clicking, whistling, phrases like \u201chey kitty-kitty\u201d \u2014 which gave this type of harassment its name) also falls under the concept of harassment.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Many known cases of harassment happen in the workplace and involve sexual advances from a boss to a subordinate, which is why harassment is often associated with this type of behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Men can also be victims of harassment, and a man may experience it from another man or from a female superior. However, statistically \u2014 as with any type of violence \u2014 women are more often affected by workplace harassment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In 2021, I asked my blog audience whether it was harassment if a boss invites a subordinate to dinner. Refusing the invitation would have no consequences \u2014 nothing scary, nothing would change, the attitude would remain the same, and no one would be fired. In that poll, 64% of respondents did not consider such an invitation to be harassment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>However, a dinner invitation from a boss still qualifies as harassment, even if there were no consequences for the employee in the end. At the moment it happened, she couldn\u2019t have known that \u2014 and that uncertainty put her in a vulnerable position, unsure whether there might be consequences and how to respond in order to avoid them.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>The story of Monica Lewinsky begins: a young intern and the President of the United States. Their interaction started like a fairy-tale romance \u2014 a girl with little life experience and a powerful man in a position of authority, convincing her how much he loved her. The third season of American Crime Story is titled Impeachment, and it tells exactly this story. Here\u2019s a quote by film critic Tatyana Alyoshicheva: \u201cThe third season is about the abuse of power by the head of state, which resulted in Lewinsky being completely destroyed (few people were humiliated as much after the publication of the scandal&#8217;s details). The press used every possible insult to describe her \u2014 calling her a foolish airhead, and also a predator who \u2018set up\u2019 the president and therefore \u2018should apologize to all of America\u2019\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>It even got to the point that, in 1998, The New York Observer wrote the following sentence: \u201cShe can rent out her mouth\u201d. And in an HBO interview, Monica was asked: \u201cHow does it feel to be America\u2019s premier blow-job queen?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>I recommend watching this series.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In 1991, Anita Hill accused her boss, Clarence Thomas, of sexual harassment. He denied the allegations, and shortly afterward he was appointed to a lifetime position as a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. There are only nine Supreme Court justices in the United States \u2014 it\u2019s the highest position of power in the judicial system, held by people who, in theory, should have impeccable reputations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The biographical film Confirmation (2016) tells the story of the hearing that followed Anita Hill\u2019s allegations. I watched it many years ago, and what struck me the most was what exactly was considered harassment. Many women encounter such behavior almost daily \u2014 and yet, that too is considered harassment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In my older recommendations, I found an enthusiastic review of the series CRIME (2021) \u2014 I once suggested it in response to a request for something to watch with a partner that touches on feminism, but without making it obvious, since the partner refused to watch anything explicitly about feminism. So, if the advice to just get rid of such a partner doesn\u2019t apply right now, then this series fits that request perfectly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not about feminism on the surface, but the message that a woman is a human being runs through it like a red thread. It also touches on harassment \u2014 how people stay silent about it, and how they can choose not to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>I also recommend the film Bombshell (2019), starring Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, and Margot Robbie. It\u2019s fast-paced, gripping, and based on a true story about the CEO of Fox News. The same events were also covered in the 2019 miniseries The Loudest Voice, featuring Russell Crowe and Sienna Miller \u2014 I recommend that one too.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Another very straightforward Hollywood movie based on real events is North Country (2005), also with Charlize Theron. Her character filed a lawsuit in 1984 for group sexual harassment, and the legal battle lasted 14 years! It\u2019s a story about how one woman stood up to the system. I think it\u2019s worth watching even for those who think the issue is exaggerated, or who consider so-called \u201ccompliments\u201d like \u201cWow, you\u2019re hot, I\u2019d bang you\u201d harmless. The film does a great job of portraying the workplace atmosphere \u2014 and no one is actually raped in it, by the way. This one can also be watched with a partner who doesn\u2019t want to watch anything \u201cabout feminism\u201d. It\u2019s a movie about a woman working in a mine! And that\u2019s where traditionalists often suggest feminists should go \u2014 as if they themselves are writing from down in the mines. Well, let them see what real women in the mines look like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Links mentioned in the episode<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>A study on street harassment: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ilr.cornell.edu\/worker-institute\/blog\/reports\/ilr-and-hollaback-release-largest-analysis-street-harassment-date\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">https:\/\/www.ilr.cornell.edu\/worker-institute\/blog\/reports\/ilr-and-hollaback-release-largest-analysis-street-harassment-date<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The first global study on workplace harassment: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ilo.org\/sites\/default\/files\/wcmsp5\/groups\/public\/@dgreports\/@dcomm\/documents\/publication\/wcms_863095.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">Here is the link to the PDF file<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A study on sexualized harassment in the Belarusian civil society abroad, conducted by \u201cLegal Initiative\u201d and Nasta Bazar: <a href=\"https:\/\/legin.info\/uploads\/20241224_676ace6c02918.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">https:\/\/legin.info\/uploads\/20241224_676ace6c02918.pdf<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2015 U.S. Court of Appeals decision \u2014 a woman filed a harassment complaint against her subordinates: <a href=\"https:\/\/caselaw.findlaw.com\/court\/us-8th-circuit\/1706175.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">https:\/\/caselaw.findlaw.com\/court\/us-8th-circuit\/1706175.html<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why a student who accused a professor of harassment was expelled: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lrt.lt\/ru\/novosti\/17\/2199562\/oporochila-reputatsiiu-egu-za-chto-byla-otchislena-obvinivshaia-v-kharassmente-prepodavatelia-studentka\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">https:\/\/www.lrt.lt\/ru\/novosti\/17\/2199562\/oporochila-reputatsiiu-egu-za-chto-byla-otchislena-obvinivshaia-v-kharassmente-prepodavatelia-studentka<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>About the reinstatement of the professor: <a href=\"https:\/\/novayagazeta.ee\/articles\/2024\/10\/03\/obvinennyi-v-kharassmente-prepodavatel-egu-sergei-seletskii-vyigral-sud-v-litve-u-universiteta\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">https:\/\/novayagazeta.ee\/articles\/2024\/10\/03\/obvinennyi-v-kharassmente-prepodavatel-egu-sergei-seletskii-vyigral-sud-v-litve-u-universiteta<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Series CRIME (2021): <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt12759778\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt12759778\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you want to contact us but are afraid to use comments, you can send us an e-mail. After that it will be enough to delete your letter from the \u201cSent\u201d folder.<br>Our e-mail address is: <a href=\"mailto:help@belarus.fm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">help@belarus.fm<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Harassment is any unwelcome behavior directed at a person that violates their privacy, causes discomfort, or harm. Harassment includes both direct and indirect actions: it can be touching, physical assault, insults or threats, mockery, hostile remarks, intimidation, stalking, unwanted letters or calls, showing offensive photos or any content the person does not want to see, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":10429,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[381],"tags":[352],"class_list":["post-11107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-im-not-a-feminist","tag-audio-in-russian"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11107"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11107\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10429"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/belarus.fm\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}